Mama's Boy

So, today I take Will in for his 4 year old physical (a few months late, but who's counting) and discover that he, too, may be facing his very own "Battle of the Bulge." Ok, in his defense, the dude is as active as active can be, and really... he is not overweight at all. He is just a big kid... and no, I don't mean that as an "I am big boned" excuse (although, I really think he and I both are). He weighs 52 pounds and is 3 feet 10 inches tall, so he is off the charts for height and weight. But today the doctor said that we'll have to monitor his weight.... not closely, but just watch it to make sure he becomes an healthy adult. And why the cause for concern? Because she can look right and me and say, "because you sure didn't."

Today, for the first time, I was faced with the fact that my son can suffer because of me. And not just in the "I will give you something to cry about" arena. But, because his genes are working against him. I am overweight. Mark is overweight. Poor, poor Will and Jack. Knowing that, I work pretty hard to teach them better eating habits than I have. I buy prepackaged 100 calorie snacks to ensure portion control, and I push healthy snacks like cheese sticks, yogurt and fruit. More often than not dinner comes from my Healthy Cooking magazines and always has a fruit or a vegetable as a side. Our milk is fat free and my dudes don't get soda. I still cut their juice with water, for God's sake, to try and limit sugar.

That being said... they like candy. They like sweets. And while I don't keep them in the house often, we are not a Wife Swap-bound extremist family either. Dairy Queen was had on Saturday night and while we haven't eaten them yet, we did buy ice cream sandwiches at the store the other day... just because Will wanted them. I do buy processed food and their breakfasts, in particular, are often frozen pancakes, pigs in a blanket and sugary cereals. Their lunches aren't much better in the homemade department. Jamie Oliver is probably rolling around in his organic garden at the fish sticks, frozen pizza and chicken nuggets in my freezer. We eat them each once a week, paired with fruit or veggies and a cheese stick... but still... we eat them.

So, today was the day when I see that even though I thought I was doing well... it isn't good enough. "Monitor his dairy," she said, "as it is the biggest culprit." What I heard was, "Failure, failure, failure. FAILURE!" I see it when I look in the mirror, but now I see it when I look at him, too. And despite my ever expanding waistline.... thinking about his is worse.