A long, long weigh to go...

Forgive me oh readers, for I have sinned. It has been several days since my last post and I can tell you why. I gave up. I didn't diet.

I could sit here and blame the shoulder pain, which is part of it, and then I can blame the feeling that once you go off track it is just easier to stay there, or I can even blame hormones. I have been a crabby patty these last few days and eating my baggie of almonds just pissed me off. I wanted something else instead... like lasagna! I have to eat to take a pain pill, which I cannot sleep without, and by the end of the day I don't want a salad or a sandwich thin with light tuna. Yo quiero Taco Bell... so yo ate it. A lot. So, I find myself on a Wednesday Weigh In not going down, but instead, going up.

I am not exercising. I am not playing outside much. I am sitting on a couch feeling sorry for myself because every inch my arm moves feels like it's being ripped apart. And, then I eat something. Even today, I had a fine breakfast and weighed in, vowing to do a better job. And then I took the boys to the store to buy some groceries for a chili cook off at Mark's work tomorrow, and by the time we were heading home... I stopped at Burger King for lunch. Initially it was only for the boys, but the idea of bringing them in the house, unpacking groceries, ugh... I had a fried chicken sandwich value meal with french fries and a Diet Coke. I want to say that I am going back on track, but I feel like my train is veering out of control and Harrison Ford is about to jump off before it explodes. Jump, Harrison, jump, because Calista Flockhart I am not. So, without futher ado, here are my results.

Weight: Up 2 pounds.

Total Lost: 5 pounds.

Pounds needed to reach first goal: 25.

Crap.

Mayday... mayday!!!!

Crash alert, crash alert... attention tower, we are going down in flames. Emergency personnel to the runway, stat! Yesterday I was AWFUL. I completely let go of any attempts to diet... and not because I wanted to... but because I just didn't have it in me to care. I found myself completely ambivalent about anything and everything diet related... which is surprising coming off a 7 pound loss. It's because I injured my shoulder and the pain is just amazing. And, let me just interject that in my personal opinion... I am no sissy. I can play with pain, but it hurts. It HURTS!!! A lot. And in dealing with my ouchie, I sunk into a pit of despair. I ate a normal breakfast, but at lunch I just didn't have it in me to make tuna or something healthy. I nuked leftover Chinese noodles and ate them straight from the container. When I wanted a snack, I didn't care about getting something healthy. I ate corn chips... and potato chips... and a nut and chocolate trail mix. Yep, I hoovered in the pantry's contents like it was going out of style. And, I don't even care for potato chips or corn chips. I ate because my arm hurts. Who does that? Then, I cooked my family a healthy whole wheat pasta dinner with turkey sausage and veggies... and personally opted for a bacon cheeseburger (with mayo) and fries (dipped in Ranch dressing). And at bedtime, I ignored the healthy Fit and Active ice cream treats in the freezer and went for the thick chocolate covered drumstick instead. Two of them. Thank god there isn't a Baskin Robbins around here, or I would have robbed them of 30 of their flavors. (I don't like Rocky Road). I don't know how a sore arm translates into "screw my diet" but it did... LOUD and CLEAR.

That's right... My name is Lynn and I'm a depression eater.

Weigh to Go!!!

Second week weigh in, and I was totally surprised. I actually lost. Admittedly, my weekend wasn't great and Monday and Tuesday were only marginally better. Apparently this goes to show how completely craptastic my diet used to be. I can eat marginally better and still lose weight. This gut check (literally, checked out the size of my gut) has gotten me back and track. I like losing. I want to be a loser. Diet back in action.

Lost: 3 pounds.

Total loss: 7

Pounds left to meet first goal: 23

Weekend O'Failure

Weekend's Lack of Success:

Ate Saturday: Everything in sight.
Breakfast: Blah blah blah... ate cardboard breakfast. Fine.
Lunch: Subway, footer. Oops. Chocolate chip cookie. Double oops.
Dinner: Chinese. Lots of it. Triple oops.
Snack: Don't remember... all part of food coma.

Ate Sunday: Not much better.
Breakfast again: cereal. Yay for me... trying to rebound.
Lunch: Chinese. Not huge portions, but smaller portions of spare ribs and fried rice, pretty much described as BBQ fat chunks and starch fried in fat with fat chunks mixed in.
Dinner: Turkey, potatoes, turkey, potatoes, rolls, potatoes, and turkey. With some butter. Yum. Oh, and with gravy. Double yum. Millions of oopses.

Weekend O'Failure:

I don't really know what went wrong this weekend, but my God, did it go wrong. I didn't set out to stop dieting, but it just happened. It started at the hair salon on Saturday morning and I was dead tired. I don't know why, but I could barely keep my eyes open. So, I went the soda machine. Ugh... Pepsi. I hate Pepsi. Any other time, I drink diet colas. Always have. But, I hate Diet Pepsi. So, I decided I could take one foray into the non-diet world and go with a Mountain Dew. Sacrifices had to be made to not appear appear to be narcoleptic!

Then, I had a horrible time at Walgreen's trying to get flu shots for me and Tabbi. Tabbi acted like the amazing 10 year old toddler and the wait took forever. When I finally got home after spending an hour and a half seeking salvation from the flu... I was hungry and crabby. I ate my Subway in one bite, and then... I did it. I ate the cookie. Then, fast forward to dinner and Mark wants Chinese. At that point I had spent Friday cleaning the entire house, and Saturday either waiting for flu vaccines or cleaning out the garage. Screw diet. I ate Chinese. And ate it and ate it and ate it. And Sunday, I ate it again.

I didn't set out to go off diet, but somehow on my busy weekend, I did. It no longer hit anywhere on my priority list. The good news is that I was totally productive and that equals exercise. I think I sat down for a grand total of 30 seconds total from Friday night to now... so I am not too upset about it. But, it is interesting that at my first busy moment, the diet disappearing and was replaced with convenience. But, as they say in AA, take it one day at a time, and today so far, has been a good day.

My Email is Out to Get Me!!!

Yesterday's Success:

Ate:
Breakfast: Half a bowl of baked apples with a squirt of light Cool Whip. (Yeah, I know...but Will ate most of it. I swear).
Lunch: Tuna (in water) with a tablespoon of Light Miracle Whip on a sandwich thin.
Snack: 2 cups light popcorn.
Dinner: Two servings Panama Pork Stew (pork, green beans, corn, sweet potatoes, onion and diced tomatoes) and 1 crescent roll.
Snack: 1 snack pack of almonds. Weight Watchers ice cream cone.

My Email is Out to Get Me!!!

I get so excited when I see my little yellow envelope with the star burst on my computer screen. No matter what I am doing, I stop and check my mail. Maybe it's because I am home alone with two kids and crave adult conversation, or maybe it's the mystery of what might lay ahead... either way, I love it. I sneak peaks at my desktop all day long just waiting to see that little graphic appear. Sometimes it is a Facebook message, sometimes it's a blog comment, sometimes it's an email from a friend, lots of times it's junk and I am sadly disappointed. But, even if it does turn out to be nothing... I still get a little thrill the next time it shows up. Until now. Now, I realize that it could be something sent to derail my recent "de-heifering" progress. Now... it might be Domino's.

Domino's sends me emails all the time. They e-stalk me and ply me with notification of fresh baked sandwiches, BBQ chicken pizza hot and ready to be delivered, cinna stix fresh from the oven and dripping with gooey icing. They are downright evil. And I am not sure how they do this... clearly some sort of stomach monitoring device implanted from some past pizza I've eaten... because they spam me right when my tummy is growling it's loudest. The email laughs at me and waits for me to ponder.... one pizza won't ruin everything, right? I can give in to cravings sometimes, right? NO! Sometimes would turn into EVERY STINKING DAY. Then, what's the point of avoiding my true loves Ben and Jerry if I am going to cheat on them with the pizza delivery guy. From this point on, I am going to have to reserve checking my email for moments when I am completely sated. No more growling tummy on the computer. Ha! Take that Domino's! Wait... the envelope just appeared. And I am hungry. It's them!!! RUN!!!!

Resistance is futile...

Yesterday's Success:

Ate:
Breakfast: Bowl of Raisin Bran with Granola and skim milk. Half of a banana.
Lunch: Fit and Active Chicken Noodle Soup.
Snack: Fiber One Peanut and Oats bar. Half an apple.
Dinner: One serving whole grain rotini in a drizzle of olive oil and sprinkle of Parmesan cheese. 4 oz. grilled salmon fillet. 1 piece fat injected garlic bread.
Snack: 1 slice homemade apple pie with a squirt of light Cool Whip.

Exercise: Does doing 400 loads of laundry count? No? Then none.


Resistance is futile...

How in the name of Richard Simmons are you supposed to avoid eating when you have children? We have a candy supply that rivals a Brach's factory (I don't buy it... it just somehow magippears in my pantry) and last night Will wanted to make an apple pie. Now, normally I would laugh in his face, as I clearly am not the Momunist type (definition: Alpha mom who could whip up an apple pie while cleaning the kitchen, composing the weekly PTA newsletter and receiving a mani/pedi, while dressed in a perfect A line dress, heels and pearls. And yes, Virginia, they do exist). However, this time was different. He had just gone to the apple orchard with preschool, so how could I tell him no? We had a bushel and a peck (how much is that???) of apples, and why let them rot when they could be turned into golden brown, flaky crusted, gooey apple yumminess?!?!? Alas, I don't do pies... but Grandma can! So, in walks my mother... Martha Stewart minus the criminal record, and in record time out comes said deliciousness.

This is similar to my theory with the night out on Saturday, but my philosophy is this: Resistance is futile. I know myself. My brand of "Will Power" must be the generic version, because like generic toilet paper... it is pretty thin. We're talking single ply. So, if I pretend like I am going to go the rest of my life (which per the Mayans will end in 2012, so why am I worried about weight anyway???) not eating bad foods, I am kidding myself. That kind of strict deprivation will lead me to wig out and consume the entire contents of my grocer's freezer case (ice cream area only... frozen veggies will survive just fine). So, I figure if Will and my mom bake up a dripping, bubbling apple pie heaven, I am just going to have a piece. And I did. One piece. That can't be all bad, can it?

Weigh To Go!!!

Week one weigh in: Lost 4 pounds!!!

Only need 26 more to hit my first goal!!!